While I’m not free of self-doubt these days, I can honestly
say I believe in myself like never before. That doesn’t mean I think I’ll never
fail or quit: I will. Probably often. And that’s okay.
it’s completely fine to try and fail, to put yourself out
there and not be perfect, to say hello to someone and have them not instantly
love you, to create something and have people judge you. Failure,
not being perfect, mistakes, not having people agree with me, not being
completely accepted: these are not negative things. They’re positive.
How is failure positive? It’s the
only way we truly learn. For example: you can read a book on math, but until
you try it and fail, you’ll never see where your lack of understanding is. The
best way to learn something is to study it a bit, then try it, take practice
tests, make mistakes, then learn some more.
How are mistakes positive? They’re
little pieces of feedback necessary to grow and learn.
How is being rejected positive? It
means I’m growing beyond the absolutely socially acceptable
These
things we’re afraid of — they’re actually desirable. We need to learn to see
them that way, and embrace them, letting go of the fear
When
we can get better at this — which takes a lot of practice — we can start to
remove the things that hold us back
So practice:
- Push past your discomfort, growing your discomfort method.
- Put yourself out there, and be OK with not knowing if people will accept you.
- Stick to a habit, not listening to the negative self-talk that normally holds you back.
- Stick to it some more, and learn to trust yourself.
- Go into situations not knowing, and learn to be OK with that.
- Learn through repeated attempts that it’s OK to fail, that you can be OK in failure.
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